Alcohol victims seek more help

More and more people from York are seeking help because their families are being torn apart by alcoholic relatives - with men and teenagers increasingly needing support.

The York branch of Al-Anon, a support group for the relatives of alcoholics, has reported a sharp rise in members.

Over the past nine months, the group has seen numbers of those attending rise from about five a week to more than 20.

The meetings are now welcoming male members seeking refuge from the heavy drinkers they live with - with about five men now regularly turning up for meetings.

The group is proving so well- used it has just set up another one on Saturdays to cope with increased demand.

Group member Brenda* suggested recent changes to drinking laws might be one reason for the sudden rise in membership.
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She said: "It's the society we are living in. Young people are doing too much, too early, and not knowing how to drink socially without going to complete excess. Could it be to do with the drinking laws?

"Most of the people who come are in their 20s and 30s, the youngest is 17 or 18. (They can be) children of people who drink. Or a lot of members say: it's my daughter who's the alcoholic, or my son who's a drug-user.

"In almost all cases, the drugs are preceded by the drinking, and the parents are at their wits' end.

"For a long time, we had no men. In the past nine months, quite a few men have joined."

Brenda, who has been to group meetings for the past ten years, said those who went along to Al-Anon could often spur their alcoholic relatives to seek help themselves.

She said the group followed the same 12-step programme as Alcoholics Anonymous. Members could attend and hear stories from other people - some of them with messages of hope after their own relatives had finally given up drinking.

Leaflets giving advice were also available.

Brenda said: "These are confidential, closed meetings. This is a safe environment. Whatever we say in these rooms will stay in these rooms. There's no repeating of anything, or gossiping.

"People need to know there's help and support for them to get a better handle on how to cope with their addicted spouse or loved one.

"The benefit of it is you will find hope and a light at the end of the tunnel.

"All families of active drinkers have got their own story to tell."

Al-Anon runs the free meetings at 7pm on Wednesdays and 2pm on Saturdays, in the Friends' Meeting House, Friargate, York. You can also phone a 24-hour helpline on 0207 403 0888, or log on to www.al-anonuk.org.uk
# Name has been changed

'My life was ruled by fear'

BOB had been married to his wife for nine years before their lives started to fall apart.

His wife became an alcoholic and unable to cope, Bob, 58, turned to York's Al-Anon for support.

He said: "She was drinking probably about half a bottle of vodka a day and she was doing it secretively.

"Alcoholics usually have something in their life that they can't cope with and for my wife it was the death of her father. She became dependent on drinking.

"I wasn't able to cope. I was no longer able to run my business and my life was ruled by fear. I was frightened when I went out because I didn't know what I would find when I got back.

"Al-Anon was a lifeline for me. I felt incredibly lonely because I thought I was the only person going through this, but Al-Anon allowed me to meet other people with exactly the same experiences.

"It helped me find a way of coping with my life by teaching me I had to focus on my own life rather than my wife's.

"It is a natural thing to blame yourself, but Al-Anon made me realise that nothing that I was doing was making my wife pick up the bottle.

"I became calmer and managed to get a grip of my life again."

Bob's wife is now in recovery after a course of hypnotherapy, but he said he was still attending the Al-Anon sessions because he wanted to help others.

He said: "I still go because by sharing my experiences I know I can help somebody else. Al-Anon helped me more than I can say and now I want to give something back."

York Press