'I drank away 10 years of my life'

The road back from alcoholism is strewn with obstacles, as Huddersfield's Gary Westwell discovered when he decided to stop drinking. Now he wants to help other problem drinkers and has published a devastatingly honest account of life as an alcoholic.

At His alcoholic worst Gary Westwell was drinking a minimum of 14 cans of Special Brew a day.

"That was my survival drinking, it was maintenance level," he says.

"I would still go out in the evening and have a few pints as well."

He had got to the stage where his GP told him he was literally killing himself. Spells of detoxing, in and out of hospital, weren't working and he knew he had to finally take responsibility for his behaviour. "No-one else could do it for me," he says.

Today Gary (45) calls himself a "non-drinking alcoholic" because he understands that even though he has been dry for over a year now he will always be an alcoholic.

A former psychiatric nurse and senior social worker, Gary drank away 10 years of his life - five of them drinking to a seriously harmful level.

He lost his job, damaged his personal relationships and put his health at risk. His story, which he tells with unswerving, warts- and-all honesty in a self-published paperback The Road to Becoming an Alcoholic and the Way Back, is an ugly one. But it's not rare.

"People used to think that alcoholism was a problem that affected poor people but it affects everyone. A lot of professional people are trying to hold down jobs while drinking. Lots of people have a drink problem. It's not a question of quantity it's whether you need to drink, however much that is," explained Gary.

In his case he is unclear as to why social drinking became problem drinking.

Although he lived the rock and roll lifestyle in his early twenties, as the drummer with rock band The Prisoners, Gary says he felt that his drinking at that time was no more or no less than any other young man of the times. Nor can he blame his upbringing or any traumatic event in his life.

But there can be no doubt that once he'd embarked on life as a heavy drinker it rapidly became a serious problem. "I was seeking solace," he says. In his book he admits that every time something went even slightly pear-shaped he reached for a bottle.

Drinking, he says, killed his marriage, alienated his friends and affected his children, who are now aged 14 and 12. His daughter once made a scrapbook to remind him of what he stood to lose by drinking. The covering letter implored: "I have made this scrapbook for you so when you feel like you want a drink you can look through it, and it will hopefully help you not to drink. So please read this, because it is so important that you don't ever drink because you end up drunk and hurting your family."

As Gary is quick to point out, alcoholics hurt the people who love them, as much, if not more, than themselves.

He has nothing but praise for his partner, Maureen Brook, who met him when he was steadily drinking himself to death. "She accepted me as a person and had faith in me," he says.

His mum too, he believes, is deserving of a special mention for the way she continued to care even when her son had sunk about as low as he could get.

Gary's book is a fairly short account of his descent into alcoholism. "It was a therapy thing. I wanted to encapsulate what I'd done so that I could put it behind me," he says. As he began the slow process of recovery, moving towards abstinence, he decided that he could share his experiences with other alcoholics and their carers.

To that end he has set up a counselling service, Empathy Support Services, for the alcohol dependent and their families.

Gary has managed to turn his life around - he is now in his second year of a law degree at Huddersfield University - and has been fortunate to escape without any major health problems.

Footballer George Best was not so fortunate. But Gary believes that is because the former sportsman simply didn't want to recover. "He must have realised what he was doing but he didn't want to change. You have got to want to do it for yourself. Everyone will keep telling you what harm you are doing to yourself and that you should give up but you just think that you can get away with it.

"Eventually your drinking becomes a downward spiral; your faculties go and your memory disappears. In the end I was having fits and had high blood pressure but the alcoholic will always say that they haven't got a problem," explained Gary.

He knows only too well how crafty and deceitful an alcoholic can be. He knows all the tricks and excuses, which is why he thinks he will be able to help others.

Huddersfield Daily Examiner