The miracle of recovery
Dan, a local counselor in the substance abuse field, ushers his clients into that harsh light of the morning-after and helps them see a beautiful life ahead.
He's learned that recovery from alcohol or drug addiction is nothing short of a miracle and knows of what he speaks. Dan (not his real name) is himself recovering from alcohol and cocaine addiction and has been sober for 13 years.
Dan's story
A teen during the 60s and 70s, Dan had his first drink when he was 11. Every time after that, when he drank, he got drunk. He drank for the effect, not for social reasons. In high school, he drank heavily on the weekends. He can remember saying he'd never do drugs, but he did.
"As a child, I always felt different from other kids, not accepted," he said. "I had low self-esteem, which is characteristic of many alcoholics. Alcohol and drugs made me okay. It gave me friends, but they were the problem."
From an early age, he had blackouts. He lost a marriage, a home, custody of a child. Constant emotions were fear, anger, resentment, self-pity, doubt, hopelessness.
"Through recovery, I've come to understand compassion, love, caring," he says. "When I went into treatment, I went for 30 days to Charter Rivers and then to a halfway house in Georgia. There I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous' 12-step Program.
A.A. requires faith
What makes A.A. work is that it is a spiritual program, not a religious one, he said. People of all faiths are welcome but those who accept the 12-steps acknowledge a higher power on whom they must depend to recover. They cannot do this alone.
"Alcoholics are bankrupt not only physically and emotionally, but also spiritually. At A.A., they meet sober people who share freely with newcomers on how they came to be sober."
A.A. started in 1935, and Narcotics Anonymous followed in 1955. They use essentially the same 12-step program, he says.
"A lot of A.A. members have both problems," he said. "The lack of power is our dilemma, but we have to find a power greater than ourselves that can help us with the addiction."
Announcements about A.A. meetings at the Alano Building and in Orangeburg churches can be found in The Times and Democrat's "Regional Calendar."
The road to recovery
Alcoholics usually come to recovery at Tri-County Alcohol and Drug Abuse in four ways: 1) They go to jail or "seek treatment" because it is required by a probation officer or a pre-trial intervention program; 2) They get a drinking and driving violation and are referred to an Alcohol and Drug Safety Action Program; 3) Friends or family get sick of dealing with them and bring them there; 4) They admit to themselves that they need help and come on their own.
"The common thread is those who do recover decide they want this for themselves," Dan said. "Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness are three spiritual principals that are indispensable."
Counseling
If a client is resistant, Dan lets him look at how alcohol or the drug of choice has affected his life and determine whether the client thinks he has a problem. He has to make this decision on his own before he can take any action, Dan said.
Drinking is a learned behavior, and so is recovery. Alcoholism is a disease, but it is a treatable disease.
Loved ones
What loved ones can do is to take care of themselves by attending Al-anon or Narc-anon meetings. "They can stop providing for them with money, car, home, job, help, whatever — quit enabling them," he said. "You'll lift them off their bottom for them to help themselves."
"If someone is 17, you can make them go for treatment, but if they are adults, you can't force them unless they are suicidal or homicidal."
"Drinking and drugs are a lifestyle; recovery has to be a lifestyle," Dan explains. "The recovered have to hang out among that culture. They need sponsors, other recovered addicts they can talk to. And they need the 12 steps.' The solution is of a spiritual nature.
Relapse
"Relapse is dangerous, but part of the recovery process," he said. "A lot of people don't realize that what we're dealing with is a deadly disease.
"We see 40-year-olds who started with us at 15 and still have the mentality of a teenager but the body of a 40-year-old," he said. "To recover, they have to show up, grow up, own up.
"For me, it's like I have lived two different lives, the hell of addiction, and now the miracle of recovery," he said. "Recovery is by far the best gift I've ever been given.
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